Red Face

In Japan it seems that a week cannot go by without someone telling me I have a red face. Phrases I often hear include “sugoi akai kao!” (you have an amazingly red face) “honto ni akai kao!” (you have a seriously red face) and “kanpekina akai kao” (you have the perfect red face).

It’s not really a compliment though is it? Having a red face is not exactly a thing you generally associate with good looks or beauty. You don’t normally hear conversations like this:

Barry: Check out that little fittie over there.

Mavo: Yeah, she is a real beauty, just look as those great knockers.

Barry: I’d love to have it off with her. What an amazing body.

Mavo: Yeah fucking gorgeous red face too.

People don’t tend to go to dating agencies and give their preferences like this: I’m hoping for a tall, dark haired, handsome man. A good sense of humour and an outgoing personality are essential. Oh, and if possible I’d really like him to have a red face.

Having a red face is so not attractive there isn’t even a weird niche porno site dedicated to it. You can find sites showing a woman sucking a dog’s cock or a midget shitting on a fat black woman’s face (so I’ve heard), but it seems that there are not even sick weirdo pervs that like red faces. I’ve never seen or heard of a porn site advertising “sexy red faced babes”.

I don’t know why all these people keep feeling they have to tell me I have a red face. I mean, I don’t usually go up to people and point out their unattractive features. I don’t come into school and say “hey Miyamoto sensei, you know, you have really disgusting teeth” or “by the way, Kawaguchi san, you’re a fat bastard”.

Why the red face.